IBC Bremen Sermons

Learning from Stress
Learning the Tough Lessons – Part 1
Numbers 20:1-13

Have you ever had some difficulty learning? I don’t mean learning from school. I don’t mean the learning that comes from going to classes and from studying books. I mean by learning – do you have problems learning from experience?
The Bible says that you can learn from experience, and you can learn from the experience of others. I want to share with you for the next couple of weeks how to learn and grow through the hard things. Many times we learn the hard way. We screw up, we sin, and we don’t get it right. How do we keep from doing the same stuff over and over? Well, like I said before, the Bible teaches that we learn from our experiences and the experiences of others. To be a better Christian means to be behave better with other people. In order to do that, you may learn some things the hard way. So beginning today, I want to share with you how you can learn to behave better with other people even if you do it the hard way. We are going to look at three examples over the next three weeks, of people in the Bible who learned it the hard way. Perhaps, what they learned will sound familiar. Perhaps we can learn from their experience.
Can’t we all agree that stress is a factor in our lives? Can’t we all agree that it would be a good thing if we learned how to deal with our stress? But many times, we don’t handle our stress very well. We let stress get to us. So how do we learn to deal with stress – especially when we have problems with it? I think we can take a look at a man who dealt with lots of stress, a man named Moses.
First, we see that there are stress factors. For you and I it may be different things. But we can see in Moses that there are factors that contribute to us getting stressed out. What were some of the factors that got Moses stressed out?
Some people react negatively to change while others welcome it. People who fight changes that they have little or no control over, often experience stress symptoms. Let me give you a list of common symptoms of stress.

Symptoms of Stress Overload

1. Decision-making becomes difficult (both major and minor kinds).
2. Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing about “getting away from it all.”
3. Increased use of cigarettes and/or alcohol.
4. Increased use of tranquilizers and “uppers.”
5. Thoughts trail off while speaking or writing.
6. Excessive worrying about all things.
7. Sudden outbursts of temper and hostility.
8. Paranoid ideas and mistrust of friends and family.
9. Forgetfulness for appointments, deadlines, dates.
10. Frequent spells of brooding and feeling of inadequacy.
11. Reversals in usual behaviour.
From Stress/Unstress by Keith W. Wehnert, 1981, Augsburg

What were some of the factors that caused Moses to have stress?

FACTORS THAT CAN CAUSE STRESS

FACTOR 1 – Death of a friend or relative (20:1)

We see that Miriam, the sister of Moses died. She was one of the three leaders of the entire group that left Egypt.

For I brought you up from the land of Egypt and redeemed you from the house of slavery, and I sent before you Moses, Aaron, and Miriam.
(Micah 6:4 ESV)

When someone very close to us dies, it can cause enormous amounts of stress. It is one of the leading causes of stress, more so than even divorce.

FACTOR 2 – Living conditions (20:1-2)

I can imagine that Moses is stressed out. His sister dies, and here comes a new challenge. There comes a new challenge in the form of provision. There is no water in the desert. It can be very stressful when you have no access to water.
We live in a world today with many modern conveniences – we can turn on a light and turn open a tap of water. You know how it can feel when you turn on the water and nothing comes out? It can be stressful when you expect water to come out of the tap and you find out it is empty. Stress came when expectations were not being met.

FACTOR 3 – People turning against you (20:2-3)

On top of the stress of a death in the family and the difficult living conditions, Moses has people who are complaining about the situation. They are complaining about him, his leadership, and the direction that he is taking them.
Moses was dealing with these three major stress factors. Some people believe that when you add stress, it only affects you a little bit more. However, I believe that stress factors multiply upon a person. Stress factors don’t work like addition on you (1+2+3+4+5 = 15). Instead, stress factors work like multiplication on you (1*2*3*4*5 = 120).
Of course, Moses is receiving the stress from different directions – from his family, his work, and his environment (the weather.)
Since all of these stress factors can multiply upon you, it is no surprise how Moses act next.

FACTOR 4 – Unresolved anger (20:10)

The place where the rock was used to give out water was called Kadesh. The place is called Contention (Contention is another word for argument, conflict, or disagreement). The Hebrew word was Meribah. The people got angry at Moses. It was not the first time that Israel needed water. It was also not the first time that God brought water out of a rock. It was forty years before when God brought water before out of a rock.
Of course, the first time the people grumbled, Moses prayed, and Moses did what God told him to do. It is no accident that the place was named Contention.
The procedure should have been simple enough. Moses goes to God, God gives him instruction, and he should come out and do it. God said just three things:

1. Take the rod
2. Gather the people
3. Speak to the rock

God would do the rest. Moses should have listened to God. He had prayed to God, and had received instruction. He should have just simply ignored the people and followed God’s plan. However, something got to Moses. Instead of listening to God, Moses listened to his past.
Sometimes we go through an event, and it is traumatic. We don’t like it and it bothers us. We encounter a similar event later and the same feelings come back up. This happens because we have not resolved our problem. In Moses’ case, it was impatience. He got impatient with the people. Because he saw the rock, he looked to his memory and his past, and not to God’s instruction. Let me give you an example:
After we came back from vacation, one of my first tasks was to fix the dishwasher problem. As you may remember, there is a board on the front of our dishwasher that needed to be set correctly. It needed to be trimmed and then glued up right. So I decided to take it to the hardware shop in Borgfeld. I take it with me on a Monday afternoon. Now knowing the German lunchtime break, I don’t even leave my apartment until after 3pm. The reason is because there is no point to going earlier. Germans are going to take at least two-hour lunch breaks and you have to get used to it. So I left at 3pm and I arrived at about 3:20pm. I go in to the hardware shop to find someone who can cut the board for me. There is a young man there and he tells he is just the apprentice, but that the expert will be there at about 3:45pm. I thought this was a little late, but I waited. 3:45pm comes and there is now a line of people waiting on the carpenter.
He comes in and starts with the first customer. I am the third person and so I wait. When it is my turn, I calmly explain what I need done. He proceeds to tell me that he cannot cut the board until two plastic pieces are removed. It would not be a safe procedure. My first thought is: I have to go back home, take a screwdriver, and take these things out. My second thought is: Let me see if I can find a screwdriver here. My third thought is: How can this be so unsafe? Surely all he needs to do is release the safety and cut through the plastic. I am getting impatient.
But I learned from the last time. I thought: OK, I am acting like an American, but I know that Germans must have their order of doing things. So I tell this man this. He asks me what I needed cut and he cuts the board. I ask him how much it costs and he said nothing. That is service for the customer.
Normally, I would get frustrated. When I get frustrated, I would get angry. The simple stress of not being able to get done today what I thought could get done today, along with carrying this piece of wood, and waiting on this guy, all led up to this. But unlike most times, I learned to stay patient.
What I want to emphasize is that at some point, you have to learn to deal with stress. You have to learn to cope. What happens if you don’t learn? There can be consequences. For Moses, it was a personal consequence, but a big one –he could not enter the Promised Land. He let other people and other circumstances control him. When you let stress from any source take away your self-control, you will go out of control.
Stress turned a dreamer into a screamer – Moses screamed at the people.
Stress turned a speaker unto a slugger – Moses struck the rock and did not speak to it. People who don’t handle stress will raise their hand to something or someone else. When Moses hit his staff, he stepped over the line; he went over the edge. He had gone too far.
You can still have a close, personal relationship with God and still have problems with the people around you. Dealing with stress the wrong way causes problems. God prescribed a way to handle this difficult, stressful situation. Moses disobeyed and the consequences were serious to him personally.
When we don’t listen to God and we let stress overtake us to the point of being out of control, we are going to lose something we desire most.
Moses desired most to go to the Promised Land. That was taken away.
Husbands who raise their voices and hit their wives may lose their marriage.
Parents who let their children go out of control, and who do not calmly and patiently teach their children, will lose a precious relationship in the time it can possibly grow.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH STRESS?

People are looking to you (20:2)

Moses was a servant of God. No one saw God face-to-face like Moses. He was also a leader of people. You and I are servants of God. God watches us. But all of us lead someone else. We have people looking to us.
Parents, you have children looking to you and they follow and mimic your behaviour – all of your behaviour.
You will also have people who look to you from other associations. People who work with you, people who study with you in school, people who live near you in the neighbourhood – these are the people who are looking to you.

God wants to use you. (20:8)

God clearly gave instruction to Moses. He said: Do this and I will reveal my glory. God clearly wants to use you. That means you have to trust God more than you let the stress get a hold of you.

The consequences can be devastating (20:12)

Moses couldn’t go in to the Promised Land. He missed out on a good thing because he never learned how to trust God with his stress.

HOW TO TRUST GOD WITH YOUR STRESS

1. Tolerate it (Psalm 91:1-2)

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
(Psalms 91:1-2 ESV)

Sometimes we have to learn to build up a stress tolerance level. The fact is, stress does not go away. Either we can reduce the amount of stress we can take in, or we tolerate the stress that we have. The way to tolerate it is to seek God as the refuge for you. Make Him the place you go to for help with your stress.

2. Channel it (Romans 12:17)

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
(Romans 12:17 ESV)

Give your stress an avenue to travel. God will give you proper ways to deal with your stress. Give it an honourable place to end.

It won’t be an anger avenue
It won’t be a violent avenue

It will be a natural expression for you to release your stress. When something bothers you, you learn to work it out. It is the reason that God gave us natural abilities – to help us work out our stress.
Just as Moses should have shown honour to God and to his people, we can channel our stress in a way that is honourable.

3. Release it (Philippians 4:6-7)

…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7 ESV)

You can release your stress to God. You can give your stress, and everything that bothers you to Him. Moses did that. He prayed to God and asked God to take it. However, he then forgot to leave it with God. Some stressful stuff you have to learn to just leave it with God.




4. Share it (Romans 12:15)

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
(Romans 12:15 ESV)

This is one of the purposes of our house groups. Now the house group is not the place to depress yourself or explode to other people, but to naturally yet your friends know what bothers you.

The fact is we do not have to let stress run our lives. We can let God help us properly deal with our stress. God can be our source of strength and wisdom when we have these tough times. It is a tough lesson to learn – to trust God during stressful situations. Yet, God is waiting for us to ask Him to help us. Let us trust God the next time we encounter stress.

Posted by Unknown on Sunday, December 04, 2005 at 1:31 PM | Permalink