IBC Bremen Sermons

Misplaced Desire
Responsible Love with Others Part 5
Matthew 5:27-30

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
(Matthew 5:27-30 NKJV)

Misplaced Desire

To start with a simple definition of lust, we can use the following words: to crave, starve, hunger, thirst, to have a craving appetite for something or to have a great desire for something. (These definitions come from this website.)

So strictly speaking, when a person says that they have lust, it can be a good thing. However, when the Bible speaks about the word lust, it has a negative meaning. A person has a craving appetite, or a great desire for something. Yet, this desire and appetite is misplaced. Let me explain what I mean.

Have you ever misplaced your keys? Have you ever had your keys and then set them in a place that you cannot remember? We say in English that you have misplaced your keys. Yes, you have lost your keys, but that is because you have set your keys in the wrong place. What happens when you misplace your keys? You can get into all kinds of problems. You get stressed out, you get frustrated, you get angry. Because you have put your keys in the wrong place, you will have problems using the keys in the right way. You can't open doors like you would when you had access to your keys.

I had that experience right before we left for Prague.

The same is true with lust. Lust is misplaced desire. God says that your desire (strictly speaking) should be for Him. When it comes to social and sexual relationships, your desire should be for the spouse that God has for you.

As we have said earlier, fornication is sexual intercourse with someone who is not your spouse before you are married. This fornication can include sleeping together. This fornication can include actual sexual intercourse. Adultery on the other hand, is sexual intercourse with someone who is not your spouse when you are married. So adultery is a sin for married people and fornication applies to singles.

Lust in this case is a misplaced desire for a sexual relationship with someone who is not your spouse. This lust, or misplaced desire is something that God does not want us to have. Fornication and adultery happen because my desire for the person whom God has given to me as my spouse is misplaced for someone else.

Because I cannot find the person that God has for me, I go looking for someone else. This is the problem of lust for singles.

Because I am not satisfied with the person that God has for me, I go looking for someone else. This is the problem of lust for married couples.

Now let us look into what Jesus says about lust. He uses two parts of the body - the hand and the eye. The eye makes sense, because desire (especially for men) comes through the senses. As we said earlier, lust is a desire that is misplaced. Lust is a craving, a thirst, a hunger, a starving for something. In this case, you are craving or hungering for sexual satisfaction. You have misplaced your responsible love for God and for other people with a desire for sexual fulfillment. Some get this fulfillment from looking at other people. God says fulfill this desire in marriage. The world says to fulfill this desire in any way possible. Lust is misplaced worship. When you look at a woman and you desire her sexually, and she is not your wife, you are worshiping her body, that is wrong. The same would be true women when you look at men.

Misplaced desire is really misplaced worship. Lust is a form of idolatry. You are replacing what God wants for you with what you want for yourself. This is why pornography is wrong. This is why idol worship (especially when it is connected with sexual acts) is wrong

Jesus said not to look at a woman and desire her as a sexual object. Jesus said not to look at a man and desire him as a sexual object. Jesus said not to look at anything that causes sexual desire. This does not matter whether what causes you sexual desire is a picture in a magazine, a website, or a person walking down the street. Whatever you look at (with the eyes) and whatever you act out (with the hands) that causes you to sin sexually is wrong and dangerous.

Why is lust so dangerous? Lust is basically stealing “eye candy” from another person. When I was a child, there was a store at the end of my street. The store was run by an older couple and it was very convenient. After school, my friends and I would go by the store and buy a piece of candy. Sometimes it was chocolate and sometimes it was a sucker. But I really enjoyed the fact that I could someplace close and get something sweet.

Looking at beautiful woman or handsome man is considered “eye candy”. Your mind enjoys what your eyes are showing. That is ok. But when you start to do more than just take a glance, when you start to stare and then fantasize and undress that person, that is where lust becomes stealing. You steal the satisfaction from the person you are watching, when that person is really meant to be enjoyed by their spouse. Now you are not just looking at the candy, you are walking out the door without paying for it.

HOW TO FIND THE DESIRE THAT WAS MISPLACED

Remember our illustration from the beginning. Just as you start to search and find the keys that you misplaced. You can go about finding what God wants you to do about lust. Jesus says to "cut it off" in drastic language. You and I have to cut off the avenues of this misplaced desire. If you have been watching too much television, cut it off. If you have been seeing too many pictures of men and women who are thinly clothed, cut out the pictures. If you have been committing sexual acts because you cannot wait, you have to cut it out. You have to stop that. You have to clean out your mind and your environment.

Then you have to take that desire that you misplaced and place it properly where God wants you to have it. Where is that?

You place it on God. You take time to desire Him more. This is your only option. God will give you the proper and responsible desires that you need to overcome this lust. Worship is properly directed desire for God.

You have to learn to place your desire on God very quickly. Lust is the battle that has begun in the mind. You may have used your hands or your eyes, but the battle is in the mind. Since this is where the battle starts, you have to win that battle. How do you win the battle? You look to God to help you. You take your misplaced desire and you place it on God - at the cross.

Selfishness is the opposite of sacrifice. Christ is in opposition to carnal cravings. Desire is to be directed at God. A sign of unfaithfulness to God is when we let the "lust" or misplaced desire in our lives lead us.

You take the misplaced desire and you replace it. You take the misplaced image that caused the lust and you replace it. You have to flee lust and fight it.

HOW TO FIGHT LUST

1. Prevent yourself from seeing things that misplace your desire.

I know men who tear out all of the pictures in a catalog. They do this because they know that their mind will wander. I know some families who limit the type of movies that the family watches. You have to prevent the junk from getting in your head.

2. Replace your immediate misplaced desire with Christ - on the cross.

You cannot think about sex and Christ on the cross at the same time. It won't work. The reason is because whatever you worship will lead your mind. If you are worshiping images of another person, that will lead your mind to lust, and then to sex. It will lead you to submit to your desires, the misplaced desires of lust. However, if you are worshiping images of Jesus on the cross, it will lead you to submit to Him.

If you have or are struggling with lust, then I urge you to take your misplaced desire and submit to Jesus on the cross.

3. You fight the lust that crawls your direction.

Satan isn't stupid. He is going to try to tempt you. He knows that if he can help you misplace your desire, you will do less with God. He knows all the tricks to use. So you do have to pray that God keep you from lust. But you also have to fight it when it comes. There is a reason that Paul says to put on the Armor of God. He knows that you need to be ready for the battle. So you fight the lust when it comes your way. You say: No, I will not take this desire. I will submit to Christ.

Let me share with you this example. When you are overcome with lust, it is like being invited to play in the pig pen. Basically Satan comes over and invite you to play in his pigpen. Of course at the time you think it is a good idea. S/he looks good and I can start to enjoy what s/he looks like. I can get some kind of stimulation and it satisfies me for a moment. But do you know how you feel when the “feeling” is over – wasted, tired and lonely. You feel like you have wasted that time and energy on a “thing”, a picture, a person for no purpose. You will probably think things like this: “Why did I waste so much time?“ “What good did that do for me?” What good did it do for you? It made you feel dirty. That is Satan's plan. He wants you to feel dirty. But God wants you to leave the pigpen and climb the mountain. Satan wants you to stay and play in the pigpen. Because Satan knows that more time spent in the pigpen is less time you will use exploring the mountain. But God has much bigger plans for you. He wants you to stop focusing on the small thing like this and start going to the wide adventure that He has called for you in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

So what do you want to do? Slop around in the pigpen or start to explore the mountain? When Jesus Christ calls us to stop lusting, He is calling us to better things. For us who encounter lust often, what help does God give me?

God gives you forgiveness. You don't need to feel guilty and condemned.
God gives you faithfulness. God will come to you and help you.

You have to ask for help, and He will. He will let His Holy Spirit cleanse you and He will reveal to you the next step. He will show you how to prevent it the next time. So when Satan comes walking to your door and invites you to the pigpen, go tell Him you have better things to do. You are going to go climb a mountain with God.

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Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
(Hebrews 13:4 NKJV)

The word bed here is used in the New Testament a total of four times. Two times in Romans, once in Luke and once in Hebrews.

In Romans 9:10, it says this:

And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac

The word describes the result of intimacy - conceiving a child.

In Romans 13:13, the picture is displayed of two people who are not married, who share the same bed - chambering (or sharing the same room).

Here in this verse, as well as Romans 13:13, the Bible shows how important intimacy is in the marriage relationship. The idea of "lying" in bed with someone else is a picture of intimacy.

When a couple shares the bed, they also share intimate thoughts, ideas, and talks. The couple shares everything, including the most intimate acts in the bed. In God's eyes, the bed represents the closeness and intimacy that He has with us. He designed to show that intimacy to the world through the institution of marriage. When God wants two people to come as close together as possible, He lets them marry. Jesus said it this way:

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
(Mark 10:9 NKJV)

God puts a man and a woman together, and He wishes that no one would separate them. But many times, people who are not married together, share the same bed - separating what God want to put together. They may not even have sex, but they sleep together. These verses (which describe the act of sharing the same bed) forbid this sharing with anyone who is not your God-given spouse. People who are married make the mistakeof sharing what is designed for their spouse - the bed - with someone else.

It doesn't matter if whom you share your bed is just a friend, a classmate, a "one-night-stand", or another person's spouse.

It doesn't matter to God if you say you love one another. If you decide to sleep together and you are not married, that is "defiling the marriage bed" or destroying the intimacy God created for married couples. If you are married and you sleep with someone else, you are destroying your marriage.

It doesn't matter if you share a bed with a partner on "Brokeback Mountain" (a film about two gay cowboys) or your neighbor's bedroom, or even your fellow student's dorm. When you share a bed with someone who is not your spouse, after you have married under God's eyes (in an official public ceremony), you are "defiling the bed."

"Defiling the bed" or producing fake intimacy can have its consequences. Sleeping with someone who is not your spouse before God puts you together in marriage can be very dangerous. It does not matter how clean you think it can be, it is dangerous and defiling.

You defile your honor. You defile your integrity. You start saying to yourself that it is understandable. Everyone else seems to be doing it and there is no apparent harm.

You defile the image of the other person. Men, by sleeping with another woman before you marry them, you calling the woman a prostitute and not a princess. Men, you become a pimp who provides services for the woman as she rewards you for your protection.

Women, by sleeping with another man before you marry the one God has for you, you are lowering the expectations that you placed on that man. You say you want a Godly man - a man who will honor and respect you for being a woman. But by sleeping with him, you have said to yourself and to him that he doesn't have to be godly at all. You have given him permission to lower the standards that you yourself should have kept.

What does it mean to "defile the bed"?

To defile means to soil something, or make something dirty. What once was pure and clean has now been made unclean and impure. In essence, you create "relationship pollution" when you defile the bed. By sleeping with someone who is not your spouse outside of marriage, you are creating "relationship pollution". Just as normal air pollution dirties the environment where people breathe, "relationship pollution" dirties the environment where people love. This pollution is toxic to both you and the other person. People can see this "relationship pollution" in the way you act with the other person.

When something is defiled, there is a mark that points to the problem. That mark can be visible or invisible. That mark can be emotional scars from the experience, or it can be physical scars of rape and disease. Some may bandage this defilement with "protected sex" or with lies to other people about their relationship. Some may ignore the pain that this defilement has caused them.

God wants you to have intimacy with the person He has given you. If you are woman, God has a man waiting to make your bed honorable. If you are a man, God has a woman ready to share your bed.

When you "defile the bed," you prevent the true intimacy that God designed for you to have with your spouse. When you defile the bed, you are preventing yourself from receiving the beautiful gift of intimate love that God designed you to have when you marry.

This is the reason why the Song of Solomon for example warns about speeding up love before you are ready:

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.
(Song of Solomon 2:7 NKJV)


Keeping that bed ready for whom God has for you will protect the intimacy in your marriage relationship - when God brings you your spouse.

Marriage Takes Three

I once thought marriage took
Just two to make a go,

But now I am convinced
It takes the Lord also.
And not one marriage fails
Where Christ is asked to enter,

As lovers come together
With Jesus at the center.
But marriage seldom thrives,
And homes are incomplete,

Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.

In homes where Christ is first,
It's obvious to see,
Those unions really work,

For marriage still takes three.

~Unknown~

(This poem was found on this website.)

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ILLUSTRATION: The bite of of snake and its effects

Have you ever handled a snake? You know it is a very delicate matter to handle snakes. They can slip out of your hand very easily. When you don't have them under control, a snake will do its best to snap at you and bite you. They hiss and then they strike. I have seen people who have been bitten by a snake. The bite is very nasty. It swells up and poisons the skin. It stings, and throbs and causes tremendous amounts of pain.

Have you ever known anyone who has been bitten and stung by alcohol?

Statistics show that there are many people who drink alcohol. Just like handling snakes, you can drink alcohol, but there can always be a danger in getting stung and bit by the effects of alcohol.

An article from Time Magazine, European Edition:

Europe is already the heaviest-imbibing region in the world, with alcohol consumption per head over twice the world average — 11 L of pure alcohol per year. That number has been gradually declining since the mid-1970s, as southern countries have slowly lost the habit of drinking throughout the day. But the younger generation is raising it up again. The age people start drinking is getting lower — 11.8 years for Europeans who are now students, compared to 15 for those now aged 40 to 54. Across the European Union, 13% of 15- to 16-year-olds have been drunk more than 20 times in their life, and 18% have "binged" — drunk the equivalent of a bottle of wine in one sitting — three or more times in the last month. Irish Minister of State Noel Ahern, speaking about his own country, captures the European trend: "People used to drink for enjoyment, but now many young people are drinking to get plastered."

See the following link for the entire story.

In this environment in which Europeans seem to be telling one another that drinking is normal, how should a Christian respond?

What do I do? How do I know if I am right?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Abstain and avoid alcohol and being intoxicated

Proverbs 20:1, Isaiah 5:22-23, 56:11-12, Luke 21:34

from becoming intoxicated - Luke 12:45, Ephesians 5:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:7,

from getting drunk - 1 Corinthians 5:11, 6:10,

from continually being drunk - Luke 21:34, Romans 13:13, Galatians 5:21

Moderate drinking of alcohol

Men - 1 Timothy 3:8

Women - Titus 2:3

Medical purposes – 1 Timothy 5:23

HOW WILL PEOPLE PERCEIVE AND REACT TO ME?

This is the question you have to ask yourself when you come into contact with alcohol in social settings. Alcohol can be a problem of association. Bad things are associated with the misuse of alcohol. Having a sip of alcohol may not be wrong. But when we consume alcohol, it is usually in the company of other people. Because alcohol can diminish judgment, our actions change. We do stuff that we would not normally do. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. Normally, we are in control of our mind and what we do. Alcohol changes that. Alcohol helps a person lose self-control. As a result, the Bible tells us that we should avoid losing self-control. For some people alcohol is too much of a poison and they can't stop the venom in their system. For others, they can drink alcohol one day and stop the next. When alcohol is the vehicle that makes us get out of control, we have to learn to stop it.

HOW WILL MY ACTIONS INFLUENCE OTHERS?

This is the question you have to ask yourself when you let alcohol interact in your relationships. If alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it may be good when you want to loosen up. But since alcohol helps you lose self-control, it can also damage relationships.

Genesis 9:20-27

The first example of this is with Noah. Noah got drunk, and it had a damaging effect on his entire family. It separated his family. Alcohol does this. Alcohol can ruin families. Alcohol will separate us from the ones we love.

"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders of his city, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.'
(Deuteronomy 21:18-20 NKJV)

Alcohol hardens a person's heart. Alcohol can make a person stubborn and disobedient. When a young person drinks alcohol, one natural effect is that they will not honor and obey their parents. Alcohol hurts families. If this is true for children, it is just as true for parents. Alcohol have can a strong influence on your family.

How do we avoid the sting and bite of alcohol? We teach our children about it. We take control over their drinking habits by NOT providing alcohol in the home. With these kinds of statistics, if a Christian parent shows alcohol in the home, it will only be a matter of time before your child drinks. Then the pressure will mount for your child to drink to excess.

While you may be able to control the excess because you can drink just for pleasure, your child is going to consider getting plastered. You have to set the example for your children.

Now, for those of us who decide it is normal to drink alcohol – what I am I telling you? I am telling you to be wise – be smart. I am not forbidding you to drink. The Bible does not forbid you to drink alcohol. But just because it is allowed, does not mean it is good to do.

If you want to avoid getting bit and stung, stay away from the snake. If you want to avoid needless pain and injury to your family, avoid alcohol. A responsible Christian should think more than just about the pleasure of the moment. Alcohol is pleasing, but it can be deadly. Watch out, be smart and be a good influence on others.

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Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.
(Romans 13:13 NKJV)

Let us imagine for one moment a scene. Someone has invited you to a party celebrating the victory of the Werder Bremen football team. It will take place at the Park Hotel and it will include a full-course meal with a variety of good food. There will be all kinds of drinks served, and it will last all night. Best of all, it will be free. What if everyone was invited, and you were invited to eat and drink everything in the entire room. How would you respond to this offer?

Some of you, I know what you are thinking: Free food – great! Some are thinking? Is there going to be alcohol? Some will ask who will be there?

Suppose I tell you that other people from Bremen will be there and that everyone will be eating and drinking. They will indulge themselves in eating, drinking, partying, singing, and live music all night. It will be a wild party.

Now remember it is free, but there will be alcohol, possibly some drugs, and perhaps some people going into some other rooms and having sex in the various beds. I mean it is a hotel after all. They will be some games, and perhaps people may start to shout to one another. Do you want to go? Oh, it will be fun, no harm will be done. You will enjoy yourself.

What is the difference in this scene? A nice party has turned in to a wild party. A group of people have let themselves get out of control. This is the idea behind the world “revelry.” You remember this word from Romans 13:13. It is the first pair of activities that we are to restrain in our lives.

Here in 1 Peter see the affect of what happens when you decide to follow God's instruction about responsible love with others. Here, our lives were filled with “doing the will of the Gentiles”, as opposed to the “will of God.” What is that life of doing the will of the Gentiles?

1 Peter 4:3 defines it in this way:

For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles--when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries.
(1 Peter 4:3 NKJV)

This pretty much sums up the life of people in the world. Revelry is also known as:

Revellings–KJV, Carousing–NASB, Orgies–NIV, Revelries–NKJV, Wild parties–NLT

Here are some definitions for the word that is used in Romans 13:13 and 1 Peter 4:3:

excessive, and boisterous acts of intemperance and lustful indulgence
feasting and noisy merriment
the original word includes rioting and wild actions associated with drunkenness
This word graphically describes a life of uncontrolled license, indulgence, and pleasure; taking part in wild parties or in drinking parties; lying around indulging in feeding the lusts of the flesh.

In the Greek writings it was a a procession of people at night, who were half-drunk after supper. They would parade in the streets with torches and music in honor of Bacchus or some other deity. They usually led themselves into riots. This practice perhaps had its origins in the nightly worship of the Moabite god Chemosh as seen in the Old Testament.

because they have forsaken Me, and worshiped Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, Chemosh the god of the Moabites, and Milcom the god of the people of Ammon, and have not walked in My ways to do what is right in My eyes and keep My statutes and My judgments, as did his father David.
(1 Kings 11:33 NKJV)

Revelry (carousing, and orgies) is unrestrained behavior that comes from engaging and indulging in wild parties and everything that is associated with these parties to the point where I allow myself to get out of control.

It is the Carnival parade where drink has lowered inhibitions.

How do I know it is wrong?

1.I know it is wrong because God teaches that it is wrong. You can look at the list of actions in various places:

Galatians 5:21-22 show a list of actions that tell me that I am not living in the Holy Spirit.
Luke 21:34 shows me that Jesus says this behavior is wrong.
Here, 1 Peter 4 shows me:

2.I know it is wrong because from the reaction from the people who do these things prove that this is wrong for me to do.

Let me explain what I mean. Your non-Christian friends will encourage you to indulge yourself. They will encourage you to live it up. They will say: “Go ahead and drink, live it up, and party like it is no tomorrow.” You know it is wrong because God teaches that people who do these things will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
(Galatians 5:19-21 NKJV)

But you can see it is wrong because of the way the world will react to you. They will respect you. But they will think it is strange that you don't join them.

In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you.
(1 Peter 4:4 NKJV)

Let me give you an example of this:

When I was 22, I was attending a local community college in Texas City. I hung out with some friends, some were just associates and classmates during the free time that I had. They knew I was a Christian, but they teased me about the fact that I was not too loose. Of course they invited me to an “End-of-Semester” party. It was held at some local bar. Some encouraged me to drink even though I told them I don't drink.

(I will talk more about the issue of alcohol and its affects on us next week. There is a reason why carousing and drinking are connected in the same verses.)

So I went to the party. There were about 10 people there from the college. (Names here have been changed intentionally). The one who invited me, his name was Patrick. He was about 25 years older than me, and he joked too much. He admitted to being on Prozac, and some of the adventures that he had made me glad that I had not joined him. He had a pony-tail on the back of his gray hair and I thought he really was a hippie.

In any case, there were other people who came. A young man in his mid-thirties named Jarrod, a couple of women also in their mid-thirties, and a very young female college student named Carol.

Well, we stayed from about 7pm until 9:30pm. The drinking progressed, and then Jarrod and Carol came together. Now I knew that Jarrod was married. So I knew that this was not a good combination. Jarrod had brought this young lady, who in fact was under 21. This meant that she was not allowed to drink alcohol. Needless to say, Jarrod did serve her alcohol. Carol stepped out a couple of times and threw up in the back of someone's truck. She was not enjoying the evening.

The evening would had gone without event except for the argument that these two started to have. She was obviously drunk, and in her drunkenness, she called Jarrod's wife using the pay phone. Jarrod's wife in turn called the police.

I don't know what happened next. Carol went back outside, and the next thing I know, Carol is lying out on the parking lot in front of the bar, dead-drunk and half-dead – literally.

I obviously had a thought of helping with the CPR (she had stopped breathing), when my friend Patrick turned to me and said these words:

“Jim, you've had enough. It's time you go home.” Of course I objected. I wanted to truly help. But Patrick knew better. He knew I didn't belong. He said that the cops were coming and that it would be best if I left. He would talk to me the next week.

Why do I tell you this? Because when you say you are a Christian, and you really show it, there will be people whom you become friends with, whom you know, whom you hang out with – these people will know you are different.

Some will be like Patrick who will tell you it is time to leave. But many times, others will be asking you to join, and wondering why you don't join.

So if we are not to engage in “revelry”, and let ourselves get out of control in that way, what are we to do?

ENJOY THE CARNIVAL OF LOVE

When you become a Christian, you don't need these wild parties anymore. Before, you always looked for love and community. You searched and you didn't know what you wanted. But now in Christ, you have this love and community and you can share it with others.

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."
(1 Peter 4:8 NKJV)

These wild parties have a community that works only on the superficial level. This is why they did not satisfy your longings that you had.

Friendship is more than how much you drink, how funny you are, and how cool you think you need to be or how cool they think you need to be. Instead, you take time to share with others and to value the other person.

When you enjoy the carnival of love, you don't get dressed up and hide in masks (like some will do this week). Instead, you learn to take off the masks that you normally wear to protect yourself and you start to learn how to really relate with other people.

You don't spend time with others and have the expectation that you need to get something out of others – whether that something you want to get is sex, money, or a meal. Instead, you simply learn to enjoy the time together.

When you enjoy the carnival of love, you sit across the table and enjoy the company of other Christians. You don't spend time counting their faults, and beating them up because of what they did wrong. You spend time with them and enjoy them for who they are.

I enjoy you because of you. You enjoy me because of me. We don't worry about what others think. We don't try to do things to impress one another.

We enjoy the carnival of love – by simply enjoying time with others in Christ – where we know we will be loved. Just like this church did yesterday at the Kohl and Pinkel party, and the week before with the couples at the “Oldies Party.” You enjoy the time together without letting yourself, or other people get you out of control.

You go home satisfied because you know that you have been loved.

There are no hang-overs, no head-aches, no embarrassing revelations, and no empty experiences. There is just a fulfilling experience that comes from knowing that God loves you, others love you, and you can safely take time to get to know others in a deeper, more fulfilling fashion. You come away from the carnival satisfied – satisfied in Christ.

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